


Crystalline

by Sirotras



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, asking herself questions she'd really rather Not, rila vs introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 00:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18954664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sirotras/pseuds/Sirotras
Summary: On the glittering world of Ilum, Darth Niveus wanders the halls of an abandoned enclave looking for distraction from a sleepless night. Instead, something finds her.





	Crystalline

**Author's Note:**

> got to thinking about adegan crystals and Rila and that sorta snowballed into this very introspective little piece, set around 12 ATC, just a bit before the Battle of Ilum

The air was still and cold. Darth Niveus, prone to wandering at times of restlessness, found herself searching the deserted halls of one of Ilum’s once illustrious Jedi Enclaves. She could usually justify her late night wanderings by looking for artifacts, or histories, anything of the sort. It seemed she’d not have much luck here.

 

The Empire had attacked a few days before, clearing out the Jedi who had called this home. Anything to give the Empire a better foothold on Ilum. The Jedi had managed to clear out most, if not all, of the important artifacts and records before the attack. Most of what remained was personal effects, of which there were, predictably, few. 

 

Still, perhaps among the rubble and dust she might find something to preoccupy herself while sleep evaded her. 

 

“Why are you here?” The accusation came from the dark behind her. 

 

Her hand paused where it hovered, tracing a wall mural.

 

The enclave was empty, save for her, or so she thought. And why wouldn’t it be? It was the middle of the night. She could find some guards if she put her mind to it, there had been one lookout by the main door. But this was not a particularly high priority target in the battle for Ilum’s wealth, and any guards would be smart enough not to disturb her. 

 

A Jedi perhaps? Any Jedi who survived the attack would have fled days ago. Would they have returned? Doubtful, but then, Jedi did not always follow the logical course of action. In fact, she found, they rarely did. She turned to see who had come to join her.

 

Ah. She suppressed a dry laugh. A force ghost, some long dead Jedi no doubt, hovered not far of, glaring. Of course. 

 

“Is my presence here really so offensive that I’m waking the dead?” She asked with a raised brow.

 

“You do not belong here, _Sith_ ” he spat the last word like a curse. “Why are you here?”

 

Her lips tightened. Jedi were always so quick to make sure she knew how unwelcome she was, and it would seem this spirit was no exception.

 

“Jedi history is Sith history,” she raised one shoulder in half a shrug. “And I like history. I’ve as much right to be here as anyone.”

 

He didn’t even scoff at that. No sense of humor, then.

 

Course, there wasn’t much history here anymore. No writings, no texts, no holocrons. She’s fairly certain she’s not even in the right wing for anything of the sort.

 

“Why are you here?”

 

“Souvenir shopping?” she plucked up a small bottle, perfume? She thought Jedi were abovesuch worldly vanities. She gently removed the cap and took a sniff, only to wrinkle her nose in distaste. Too sweet and thick. Still, the bottle was nice enough, very elegant. But what would she even do with it? She had no use for beautiful, purposeless things. She replaced the cap and daintily let it drop to shatter on the floor. The Jedi’s scowl deepened. She smirked.

 

“Why are you here?” Oh, this was going to get old fast. 

 

“Couldn’t sleep,” she offered as she turned. It was true enough. Not that she owed him a real answer. Or any answer. She didn’t owe him anything.

 

She didn’t owe _any_ Jedi anything.

 

“Guilt?” he prodded.

 

“No,” she said simply, idly tracing the edge of a sconce. “Old memories.”

 

She didn’t have to tell him that. He was a Jedi. A _dead_ Jedi. And she owed him nothing. 

 

She continued to wander the empty halls of what she was sure was once a very nice place. Not so grand as other ruins she had perused, Jedi or Sith, bereft as it was of anything particularly interesting.

 

She drifted down winding halls, poking around in empty rooms. No artifacts, as predicted. There was some nice pottery, but that was only so interesting. It would seem that coming here was a waste.

 

“Are you just going to follow me around or are you actually going to do something about it?” Light sided force ghosts were notoriously toothless. Most of the what makes a ghost a threat draws from the dark side, after all, and most Jedi were stubbornly righteous to the end. Or past the end, as it were.

 

“Why are you here?” 

 

No, light sided ghosts tended not to pose much physical danger. They could, however, be _dreadfully_ annoying. And persistent. Time means little when you’ve been dead a few centuries. 

 

“Why are _you_ here?” she tried turning the question back to him, see how much he liked it. “Shouldn’t you be ‘one with the force’?”

 

He glared.

 

She sighed and continued down the hallway. No use getting into a staring contest with a spirit. Those never end well. 

 

She paused in the doorway to a small room, spying a glint of light across the way. Crystals, she found, as she drew closer. The famous adegan crystals every one was so excited about, laid out in rows, as if for inspection. She had heard so much about them. Apparently the crystals ranked below historical artifacts in the priority of evacuation, so much for being “sacred”. Though, to be fair, they could be found in damn near every cave on this frigid rock. These must have been missed in the initial sweep. Curious.

 

She much preferred something to put her mind to when she couldn’t sleep. This would have to do.

 

“Those aren’t for you, Sith,” again with the bile on the last word, “Why are you here?”

 

She rolled her eyes.

 

She trailed her fingers over the crystals, perhaps she’d stumble upon one with an intriguing color? Mostly it was to annoy her long dead friend. 

 

Why _was_ she here? Simple, she couldn’t sleep, and that was true. Restless. Always restless.Hardly a rare thing for her. But why was she _here_? Ilum was filled with ruins, she could have gone to any of them. Many of the others would have ancient relics, something to learn, history, something she could _use_. There was nothing for her here. And yet here she was. Why _here_? Why—

 

She snatched her hand back with agasp. That— what?— it was a crystal. Her fingers had brushed against it just like they had plenty of others and yet, this time, she felt something. 

 

But what?

 

She looked from her hand to the crystal, trying to decipher what exactly happened. It had felt… familiar… like… her own face? No, maybe not quite like that. A…. connection?But that is a rock. Not—

 

There were many rumors surrounding the Jedi and their precious crystals. How many of those were just mysticism and tradition was impossible to say. She wondered if some might actually hold merit. They said the crystal chose it’s wielder, called to them, through the force. Could that be true? It sounded ridiculous. Crystals aren’t living things, no matter how in tune with the force they might be. She should leave. There was nothing for her here. 

 

And yet…

 

“Why are you here?” 

 

She brushed her fingers against the hilt of her dualsaber. She’d had it for years now, since she first was titled. It’s crystal was synthetic, like most Sith weapons. It was _fine_. Efficient. Effective. There was no difference in performance of a saber built with an adegan crystal and one built with a synthetic crystal. A Jedi might say differently, but she knew this from experience. 

 

And yet….

 

Jedi believed one’s lightsaber was an extension of oneself. Sith were… a bit less particular about their weapons. You could make your own, or commission one, or buy one, and in the absence of your saber, any other could do just as well. The saber was a symbol, but it was not so connected to their person. Jedi felt differently. There was no reason for her to, she was a Sith, after all.

 

And yet…

 

She was also Echani, wasn’t she? Or did she stop being Echani when she was made Sith? Does it work that way? It feels like it sometimes. It had been so long since she even saw another like her. They weren’t so common in Sith space

 

Her mother would say—

 

“Why are you here?” The ghost’s words startled her from her thought. 

 

 

What? Her mother? What brought that on? 

 

Her mind drifted to long dusted memories of her childhood home. Her mother’s saber, kept locked away, only for times of dire need. Like the day she was— like the day she—

 

She took a shaking breath. _Stop._

 

Had her mother’s saber used an adegan crystal? Had that crystal come from Ilum? 

 

What was she doing? Thinking of this?

 

_Why was she here?_

 

She reached out and gingerly picked up the crystal, as if afraid of being burned. She felt _it_ again but this time she took a firm hold. Wrapped her fingers around it and held it in her palm. Was this… what was this.

 

“That isn’t yours,” the ghost hovered closer.

 

“Actually… I think it is…” her brow furrowed, she frowned. What was she doing? She didn’t need this stupid crystal. 

 

“No its not,” the ghost repeated, “Those crystals are for Jedi, not _Sith_ ”

 

And she was no Jedi. She held no desire to be one. But was she really Sith? No, no, now is not the time to be thinking of this. She had laid _that_ to rest ages ago. And it was irrelevant anyway. She was a member of the Dark Council. She could not _not_ be Sith. To say otherwise would be treason. Heresy…

 

If she was not Jedi or Sith, what did that mean? 

 

It didn’t matter.

 

“Well, what are you going to do about it, hm? Hover menacingly?” She snapped and pocketed the crystal. It felt right. Which was nonsense of course. But… what if it wasn’t? She shook her head, turned away from the table, and walked thru the spirit. It dissipated and reformed a few feet away, watching her leave. 

 

She strode purposefully back through the winding halls, not sparing another glance toward the ghost. 

 

The guard at the door nearly leapt out of his skin when she stormed through. She did not spare him a glance either. All the while, the crystal burned a hole in her pocket, and she was… disquieted. She needed to think, away from these ruins and it’s ghosts.

 

 

 


End file.
